Just 28 Of The Absolute Funniest Tweets By Women This Week
Hey there, welcome back to The How-To Zone! We’re here to brighten your day with some of the funniest tweets by women this week. Ready for a good laugh? Let’s dive in!
1. @alyssalimp
“I’m at that age where ‘happy hour’ is a nap.”
2. @kaitlinwitcher
“My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch.”
3. @sarahcpr
“The best part of any recipe is when you add ‘a glass of wine for the chef.'”
4. @kellyoxford
“I was today years old when I realized that calling someone a ‘Karen’ is just the female version of ‘OK, Boomer.'”
5. @jessiwrites
“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”
6. @emilykmay
“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”
7. @emrazz
“If you have a question about the universe, just ask a six-year-old. They have all the answers.”
8. @shutupmikeginn
“Adulthood is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.”
9. @molly7anne
“I love long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
10. @midgeymae
“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
11. @theannemarie
“I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.”
12. @rachelwilkerson
“I think we should have a national holiday called ‘No Plans Day’ where everyone just does nothing.”
13. @ashleyn1cole
“I hate when I gain ten pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actress.”
14. @thekatiedid
“Getting older is just learning how to be okay with being tired all the time.”
15. @jenniferweiner
“I’m not saying I’m Wonder Woman, I’m just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room together.”
16. @missmayim
“I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.”
17. @chelseaperetti
“I wish everything was as easy as getting fat.”
18. @marisabrown
“I’m not great at advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”
19. @laurenthehough
“I always carry a knife in my purse. You know, in case we’re having cake.”
20. @ashleyreese
“I’m on the 30-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 15 days.”
21. @msdanifernandez
“I tried to say no to dessert, and I laughed so hard I cried.”
22. @alisonagosti
“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
23. @thecourtneyk
“I would lose weight, but I don’t like losing.”
24. @kristenarnett
“I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.”
25. @margaretcho
“I don’t need a prince charming, I need a guy who will clean the house.”
26. @nataliesurely
“I don’t mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.”
27. @jennyjohnsonhi5
“I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.”
28. @lenadunham
“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”
We hope these tweets brought a smile to your face! Stay tuned for more fun content from The How-To Zone. See you next time!
